Dawning Creations

This weekend was filed with amazing and life changing experiences. Friday afternoon, I met with a lady named Elaine whom I have been trying to meet with all semester long. We talked for an hour about my experiences and about my faith along with many many other things. At the end of conversation, I found myself feeling a little guilty that we didn’t talk much about her. Although, she was hammering me with questions. Her curiosity in me was surprising on my side of the room because I don’t really find myself that interesting. I am complex in some settings. However, for the most part, I can be exceedingly simple. I love taking walks and admiring nature, sitting alone along a quiet stream and thinking of the magic in the woods surrounding me. It doesn’t take much to entertain me. Her confidence in me was overwhelming and was her understanding with all of my current situations. Before I left, we shared a long embrace. I made sure that she knew that I appreciated her. These days, I think it’s important that people hear this from the people they help. She doesn’t realize our conversation helped me. But it did help, nonetheless. Conversations about GOD and relationship to Jesus and just views on life in general aren’t part of the quota for daily casual talk. Even though it is expected in our society, it can be upsetting. The mundane, although I have become accustomed to it, can leave me feeling isolated and lonely. The little “hi’s and how are you’s” only give so much satisfaction, especially when you feel pressured to lie, in order to keep up the expected politeness. I think that is what I enjoyed the most about my conversation with Elaine. I didn’t have to lie. I was completely honest, polite or not. I told her that sometimes I find myself angry-not at anyone in particular, just angry. Life in these past couple of years has led me and my family onto a long roller coaster of a ride with emotions and physically, tearing-out-the-hair kind of stress, with work, classes and family death, drug abuse, alcoholism and just the typical disharmony have all been a part of this microsystem in my life. I asked her if she thought it was wrong of me to get angry. Honestly, sometimes I really do wonder if I’m disappointing GOD when I become angry. Elaine doesn’t think so. She believes that it is an unfortunate but natural human response to things that are so tragic in our lives and the lives of others. And even though I agree in that context, I disagree that I and others have to stay angry. Angry thoughts just promote angry actions, unintentional or not. It’s better to just let things go to GOD or whatever you believe in. If you don’t believe in anything, then you can channel your frustrations into something positive, like writing. =D . It just helped to hear someone else in relationship to GOD voice their opinion so openly and confidently. It really helped to talking about things and voicing my theories on this crazy world we live. I believe GOD sent her to me to help me and I to possibly help her, although I don’t know what assistance I can be to her. Either way, that meet up was meant to be. I can feel it. These little things mean the world to me. Another wondrous occurrence was one that occurred last night. With a sore throat and tired mind, I went to a child’s play with someone special to me. The play brought tears to my eyes as the tiny little kids sang their hearts out on that wide stage. One of the songs in that performance was called New Heart for Christmas. This was about how people get wrapped up in buying Christmas gifts for their loved ones, while forgetting the most important aspect of this holiday or holy day. Christmas is really about Jesus, our savior and his birth. He brought with him a change in our world. Our hearts are forever hollow. We endeavor endlessly to fill that hollow hole with material bounties, only to be left feeling more and more empty as the newer and better flood our minds. If we don’ have spiritual wealth, what do we have? We’re left even more empty, the more we get. Now, I am NOT saying that money is not an important object. We need money in order to survive. However, we do NOT need money to be happy. If we cannot be satisfied by little things, such as a long walk in the woods, spending time with loved ones, it is then that we find ourselves even more jaded than when we began. We need to cure our hollow hearts with something spiritual and meaningful this holiday season. We have to remember the love that GOD has for us and the little bundle of love that he gave up for us to be forgiven. Some Christians/Catholics argue that once you are saved, the deal is sealed and that you never doubt or feel that hollow feeling resurfacing. While others, like myself believe that it’s a life long process, in which is filled with occasional doubt and need for reminding. That is what makes this relationship so beautiful though. We have people in our lives who are there to remind us about Jesus and GOD’s sacrifice for us. We are reminded of GOD’s love not only by going to mass, but through the kindness of others. When people share a little time, even just an hour or so to talk, like Elaine did for me, it can really turn someone’s day around. So, this Christmas, I’m going to try to remember those who were there for me when my spirit felt broken. After the play, we went caroling with a church in Dallas. It was a very moving experience because many of the people we sang for cried and thanked us. They even offered us cookies and hot chocolate because they were so grateful. After we sang, the leader would ask the person whose home we visited why they thought Christ brought us to them. Many of them talked about how they enjoyed doing things like this when they were younger and others discussed issues they are having within their families and how us coming to sing for them brightened their night. One woman, named Adora, discussed the death of her father with teary eyes and how thankful she was that we took time out of our schedules to visit her and her family. Her testament brought tears to my eyes because her situation hit very close to home to a situation in my family at the moment. My grandfather is in the process of going to Heaven. He is still very coherent and walking around and such. But he is having more and more breathing attacks daily and moving is getting more difficult each day for him. Seeing this is very trying for my family and I, especially my mother. So knowing that we brought cheer to someone who is facing that same kind of heart-wrenching pain, reminded me of what it means to give, even something as small as the gift of your free time. This blog was written in honor of all of the Adora’s out there and fathers, grandfathers, brothers, mothers, sisters, counsins, aunts, uncles and any other important person in someone’s life who has gone to the maker. Let us remember that time isn’t limitless on Earth and that we should make an obligation to spend time with others when we still can.