Dawning Creations

Broken hearts, I mourn for your pain.

I know I have not felt it yet.

I know I do not yet understand.

I cannot contemplate your agony.

Just promise me, promise me you won’t

belittle me for my ignorance.

I have been blessed by God.

I have been blessed with this gift of

optimism and joy.

You find me smiling at the fall of rain

and even through the anguish that I know will come far too soon.

I won’t be prepared.

It will hit me harder than any blow I could receive, physically.

I will turn away from you, my friends, my trusted shoulders.

Please, forgive my behavior before hand.

By this time, you will see that you were right.

I didn’t understand and then I will.

But what you don’t realize is that I know now

and am preparing to welcome the pain.

What else can be done?

We all pass on.

We all wonder what happens.

Where we go….

Do we rot in the soil?

Do we leave in iradescent light?

Do we become a part of the trees, air, water, biosphere?

I think there’s a greater question that lies in all of this circle.

Why?

Why do we die?

Being a woman of faith, this question still leaves me perplexed,sad, angry

fascinated and dumbfounded.

I both love and loath the unknown.

The unknown gave me life and this quirky yearning for life.

The yearning to create and make memories, healing the

broken along the way.

It can just be ignorant thinking.

It can all be for nothing.

I can go without being remembered.

I am okay with this possibility.

Who are we to deem ourselves as so important that we must be remembered?

Even our heroes are fallen stars in the abyss of our cosmos.

They were human. They never defeated death, not even with their memories.

They are still not present here.

Memories, devices that serve to give us solace or teach us a lesson of “life”

They’re so beautiful and so confusing in essence.

What if we were to have the ability to account for every single day, every breath, every sound?

Would we be mad?

Would we rejoice at our ability to be correct and just in our thoughts?

Memories do not make us immortal.

Nothing does.

And that’s fine.

It cannot and must not be something that is thought of as negative in value.

This statement may seem contradictory in itself.

This I do not deny.

But these are the questions that many of us deep thinkers find ourselves endeavoring to understand.

But we are left in the dark.

I believe that this is what is meant for us.

Humanity cannot fathom or even begin to contemplate the inner workings of life and death,

without the help of religion and empiricism.

It’s really beautiful. This art.

I believe that there is a God.

What he wants and why he creates us I am not ignorant enough

to say aloud that I know for sure his plan.

No one does.

No matter what any prophet or evangelist tries to proclaim

or make us believe.

God, Allah, Divine, etc….

perhaps someday, after we’re gone, there will finally be absolute certainty.

This isn’t negativity or nihilism in any sort.

This is just me accepting the unknown, embracing it for the first time.

There is a freeing experience that comes with acceptance.