Dawning Creations

I won’t try to guide you in things that I don’t understand.
I feel hurt by you and this you’ll never realize.
You’re to dogged and allow only your obsessions take over your mind.
Companions have tried to lure you away from your destruction but you pushed them away with your absurd actions.
Apologies are empty when the same actions continue .
No one believes you’re bad.
You just want what want without comprehension of why you’re wanting, begging GOD for something that may not be what is meant for you.
But taking use of what you have
through the means of other people’s expense is the wrong way to go.
You’ve expressed words of wisdom
and promised you cared, while your actions proved otherwise.
People can only help those who are willing to see their flaws.
We’re human.
Our flaws are ever present in our everyday lives.
But to apologize implies change that action that caused lamenting or anger.
No one is perfect.
And holding grudges is pointless.
Trust is easily given until there are reasons present to dispose of that trust.
I cared for him like a brother so fast.
People have a funny way of showing their appreciation.
They take your words and use them, making them appear that they actually live by them.
They preach to you like it’s the simplest thing to complete the task at hand.
I’ve been guilty of this.
However, there’s a difference, I admit it.
And, I mean it.
Disappointment is something I try to avoid imposing upon others.
Chances were given and taken away.
My help was sincere and you saw it as a threat and used it against me.
You beat me down and made me feel that my attempts at living were feeble and fickle, as 
If I was giving up so early and living the wrong way.
You made me see something in your hostility towards myself though.
Your words, though harsh, showed me that you do believe in me.
You believe that I could do so much more and that’s impressive.
Your faith in my abilities astounds me.
 I shouldn’t have been so angry and terse at you for you’re reasoning.
You should’ve heard my resolve as well.

Only after you saw me struggle did you understand.

I am now seeing that I haven’t let you down.
My aim is to aid anyone in need, while mending my healing, still beating heart.
I continue to run out this anger and sadness, lamenting patiently for the day for this to end.
I know the betrayal will be hard in my heart for some time .
I take comfort in knowing that it isn’t forever.
I do not wish for justice exactly.
I only wish for reconciliation with myself and who I am and who I am becoming.
Do I like who I see looking back at me?
I don’t know yet.
I’m still getting to know her.