Dawning Creations

Heart Weighed Like a Stone

Winter’s wind is seemingly whipping through me.
The bright light from the snow’s reflection is too much for my tired eyes.

Although the view is magical,
the reality is dismal.

As ice crystals soar past,
I catch a glimpse of isolated light.

My train of thought is broken.
I’m somewhere brighter.

Could it have been a memory?
Some distant reminder that this isn’t forever?

Sometimes, I’ve entertained the notion of remaining this frozen.
But could I handle living with this belief that’s so concrete?

I remember the words you told me.
The unheard words I promised as you lie sleeping.

I remember the faith you had in me
and how I felt it wasn’t justified.

Still, I promised you to try.
I promised you I wouldn’t forget to live.

I remember that time when there were no more words left.
I remember the echoes of our sobs filling the church as you lay unmoving.

I remember you saying goodbye,
leaving me with your initialed ring and boundless memories.

Will I fail to keep this promise to you?
No.

Your hope for my happiness wouldn’t stand for the cold to swallow me whole.
I remember your faith, wisdom, and endless love.

In your passing,
You’ve kept your word too.

You never left me.
You’re my guiding silver illumination.

The storm still makes the bitter winds whip.
But I’m holding onto the warm memory.

I won’t let you go.
The storm tries to pull me back in.

In the bleak midwinter,
frosty wind made moan.

Earth stood hard as iron.
My heart weighed like a stone.

During that insufferable winter,
You helped me remember who I wanted to be.

You’re not physically here.

But in that instant,
Grandpa.
You returned to me.

• The part that has in the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan. Earth stood hard as iron is from a song called In The Bleak Midwinter. I put it in because I felt like it fit but I’m giving credit where it’s due here  I changed the part where it’s supposed to say water like a stone to my heart weighed like a stone because it expresses the heavy heart idea without being cliché. This song isn’t too well known. It’s an older song.