Dawning Creations

Notes about the poem:

My uncle, Bill is sick with stage four lung cancer. It was incredibly hard to post this but I wanted to reach out to those who might be going through the same situation, losing a loved one. Those of you who lost someone close to you know the series of emotions you undergo. It’s a mixture of them and it’s confusing and makes you feel like you’re alone. I promise you, you’re not. I want readers to take away from this post that it is alright to feel the feelings you feel and take time to process things. You’re not alone. Someone is always going through something similar or worse and is willing to listen and be there. Reading a lot of the posts I’ve read written by other brave bloggers gave me the courage to reach out more and post this. Thank you for inspiring me.

Final Bow:

There are not enough words to get this out.

I’ll stay hushed, almost muted,
screams fading, mind going blank, turning on autopilot
for you, for me.

This is really happening.
You’re falling down,
taking your final bow.
Can you even recognize us?
My heart is shattered.

When I’m alone I can’t stay hushed.
It all comes out, my screams reverberate on naked walls.
My prayers are the fading screams reverberating while
watching as you deteriorate.

The sky has been coming down
ever since you became sick.
We’re fighting, while you’re dying.
Selfish fools are we.

Working all day,
serving the community, a meager distraction, paying bills and
feeling you slip away as the days pass.

We’re all indefinitely where you are.
Every day that passes we’re closer to Zenith,
closer to coming home.
I just pray you don’t have to return home so soon.

These words will never be enough.
They cannot honor you like they should.
YOU are brilliant and YOU are the reason I write.
I still hold that Edgar Allen Poe book,
still cling to my sweet sixteen memory.
Your presence, your gift, was my most treasured.

I’m so sorry I can’t save you.
I’m so sorry I have to keep busy
to survive while losing you.

Words will never be enough.
Seeing you as much as I do, will never be enough.
You gave me so much more than I could ever return.