Thoughts Ought Not…..to Think

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For the first time,rhythum and synchrony clash, clashing and bashing aloud, a reckless drumming.

There’s been a storm coming since 1952.

Awake, I submit to the heavy weight of it, the thunder clouds raining down purifying water.

Lightening, lighting up the sky, revealing what we already knew.

We’re all scared to die.

For the first time, it hits us all.

It’s closer to home, closing in like a door on an iron maiden.

Closing in, swiftly and suffocating.

We’re all scared to die, like children fearing the dark.

The night is inevitable as is our end time. I’m scared gray at your loss, your sudden departure.

I’ll miss you today, tomorrow and ever after. I’ll lament with the rest and promise to try to smile on.

Easier said than done, when the demands are high and the sunlight is dwindling. The days are growing colder, ground frosty, rivers icing over. Roads are gaining black ice and slippery sidewalks, frozen solid highways and snowed in days.

It’s easier said than done, to cope when the outside resembles how I feel inside. Cold and corrupted, frozen and freezing in the deep freeze, repeating.

We’re all disasters dealing in this devolution. Cold and corrupted, we’re frozen and freezing in the deep freeze.

I’m missing you while facing the dark, the inevitable night, our end, too.

7 responses to “Thoughts Ought Not…..to Think”

  1. Scrunch Foldington Avatar
    Scrunch Foldington

    “There’s been a storm coming since 1952.” Absolutely ominous line, reeled me in properly there… “scared gray” is just a brilliant turn of phrase… “We’re all disasters dealing in this devolution” this entire piece is unusually visceral, and dark, the imagery of winter cold and the theme of loss, very strong stuff. I usually try to separate the artist and their art, but this poem rages like a tsunami, so I hope everything is ok in your world Brittny. Keep writing…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      Thank you so much. Yes I try to do the same . I understand though it is hard to separate. You’re onto to something that it is a personal piece . My cousins husband passed away suddenly and I went to his wake and it was very intense. He was a really great person and my cousin was sobbing as was her daughter. I’m a very socially awkward human being ish person and things like that are hard on my nervousness but I had to be there for her and I’m glad I was. Some things trump our own fears and things. It just left me with a lot of feelings bouncing around in my head. I always aim to be calm because I’m naturally a very hyper person but sometimes too hyper and it can get out of hand if I let it. Writing when I’m feeling out of control like I was really puts my mind into a deeper understanding of feelings being situational and me not being crazy haha . I have some sick family members as well so his passing brought on feelings about them as well. You know how life can be . It’s crazy beautiful and hectic. 🙂 Thank you for commenting and asking:) I’m really grateful to have connected with you. Your writing is phenomenal and you’re such a good spirit. I will write always and I hope you do too my friend 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Scrunch Foldington Avatar
        Scrunch Foldington

        You have my deepest condolences my friend. These things are never easy, and I understand how much more difficult social anxiety can make these events. You did real good though, both in supporting your family and by beginning the healing process through your work. Stay strong 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. BrittnyLee Avatar
        BrittnyLee

        Thank you so much! I will . 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. PoojaG Avatar
    PoojaG

    Amazing picture and really great post! The last line is brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      Thank you so much 🙂 I’m really grateful you stopped by and commented ! It means a lot. Thanks 🙂 I took this picture with a certain filter. I can’t remember which one exactly but it was with my Samsung. The sun was setting and it was hitting the houses beautifully. It had just rained an hour or two before and they were still wet with the rain. The puddles were extreme too. I love finds like that when I’m out walking. It just brightens my day so much . It’s the little things 🙂 thanks Pooja!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. PoojaG Avatar
        PoojaG

        You’re very welcome and sometimes it really is the small things!

        Liked by 1 person

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