Dawning Creations

My thoughts might
will never be, consistent
with who I choose to be.

Feelings are making me sluggish.
I’m skittish, skirting every handshake.
Expect too much;
expect too little.

I’m on hyperdrive
or slower than the daily eight hours.
I’ve never sat in the middle,
never felt comfortable alone.

Comfortable.

I want to know what that truly means.
My mind antagonizes
every cell, my entire being.

Push on
and thrash the curtains open.
I don’t want to step out this door.
I’m throwing myself out there
to be torn right open.

I’ll do it again.
I’ll do the same thing tomorrow.

Dissociate.

Disconnect.

Recreate.

Assimilate.

I’ll do it again
all for your sake.

How could I let myself be
anyone than who I choose to be?
Forget all of my insecurities
because it’s coming sooner than we all think.

I’d do it again
and again if it meant
you could be healing.