If this were the last thing to ever write,
I’d want all of you to know.
I could have an ugly soul at times,
could be downright abominable.
Then, there’s the true side,
taking refuge under rock blankets
and cool grass.
Or, better yet, a tree hollow,
gaining strength while you’re all away
a basic power recharge to enjoy our time
at the right time
Quiet refuge never felt so loud
as it does right now.
But bills exist even though we’ve the “right” to exist
Existential crisises come knocking,
overturning my stones
and tearing me from my grass, my hollow.
It there anything that is truly ours?
What we buy?
The attention received
a micro bit in an instant.
.
Naked and unashamed
though all the time,
I was wishing for an answer
What is truly ours?
Our loved ones die.
Kids grow,
as do the back and forth
decisions whether or not to.
If there was one more thing
I could have the permission to admit.
Solace is found with ones I love,
ones that cry along with my outcries .
towards all of humanity and ours, too.
This world is a tragic mess in all her beauty and lamenting so many lives.
Time can be to blame
but it’s so wrong to stay in your hollow.
Take my hand and we’ll crawl together .
Hand in hand, we’ll embrace what’s to come,
togerher.
8 responses to “Incomprehensible”
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Everyone has an ugly soul at times. Some people are just better at hiding it or coming to terms with it. I feel like I’m going through a bit of a mid-life crisis at the moment, perhaps that’s what happens when you have kids, but it’s true about how “solace is found with ones I love”. And that’s what I’m trying to prioritize. .
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Me too ! Being with loved ones helps so much, especially to look forward to the change of seasons. I don’t know why exactly but having weekly plans for things helps so much. It’s help me get through the work week. I have trouble with calling off sometimes if I feel burned out or super anxious but having plans is like a reward to help me feel more secure/linked with the world outside of work. I’m grateful I get out so early because it gives plenty of time for other things, thank God. Someday I plan to rejoin the commitment to help kids again when I’m ready. I feel like I’ve been in a midlife crisis for about a year lol 🤣🤣. I have been experiencing a lot of existential questions revolving in my head and giving me anxiety. I try to plan for the future but the more immediate future because the farther future scares me sometimes. It’s nice knowing someone as successful as you understands and goes through a similar thing. I really appreciate you so much. You have no idea the impact talking with you has on me
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I feel the same about having things to look forward to during the week. It’s one of the reasons we moved away from the city (and further from work) was so we could spend more time with family. The older I’m getting the more I realize just how valuable and precious time is with our loved ones. You never know how much time you’ll have, so you try to make the most of it.
It’s funny that you mentioned having a midlife crisis as I’ve been feeling like I’m having one at the moment too! I’ve just been thinking a lot about life and what I want from it. I like my job, but my career isn’t what defines who I am. I want to be able to watch my daughter grow up. I want to be able to spend time with friends and family. I want to be able to live a balanced life.
Sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety about the future. There’s so much that’s outside of our control. Just remember to enjoy being in the present. It’s something I need to remind myself of.
I admire how you’ve been able to transform your thoughts, feelings and emotions into poetry. Your poems (and our conversations) have had such a profound impact on my life. I’m so thankful our paths have crossed ❤
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I’m very grateful, too !!! I could imagine wanting to have time to watch your child grow up. I can tell by the way you speak about her and always include her in your travels ,you’re a great mom and do a great job of including her. As she gets older, she will appreciate this and you. We will get through this midlife crisis together on here !!
All of the encouragement we give each other helps so much. Thank you for believing in and my poetry . It means a lot . I’m always looking to improve.
I’ve been trying to make plans with friends more and it helps so much to get through the week. I’m also grateful I am done at 3pm. At least it gives me time to do things . But getting to work for 730 am can be tough.
I’m glad you feel your career doesn’t define you. I’m working on realing that but I’m doing better with it. I’m hoping to rejoin my job with the children either around the new year or in the summer. It all depends . Receiving 12 dollars an hour just isn’t cutting it . It will happen when it’s meant to. I have to believe theyll take me back.
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Awww you are too kind. It’s pretty wild how my whole perspective of life has changed so much since having a kid.
How do you feel about the thought of returning to your previous job? Just remember that you’re different now than you were before. And I’m sure the time you took away from it was much needed to heal and grow.
And yes, we will get through it as we do with everything that comes our way in life!
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I am feeling mixed feelings but I need something that fulfills me and that job did. And you’re right
I’m not the same as I was before. I think I’ll know when the time is right. I will only do part-time though. I think that’ll be safer for my mental health and the pay is still worlds higher than what I’m making now. I am grateful to have a job and being successful at it. Fingers crossed and prayers. Thank you for your confidence in me . It helps mrle than you know
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