Dawning Creations

At every semester’s end, I feel a sense of melancholy creep into my happy end of the semester bliss. I think back to all of those mornings when I hadn’t slept an inch the night before and how my palms were sweaty before getting a test that I studied endlessly for. I then begin to think of the professors who would wake up at 5a.m. just to get to their office to get things ready for their long day of teaching because, at home with 3 or 4 kids, they had no time to themselves. I start to realize the end is nearing and wish it wasn’t. It’s the strangest thing. I become to attached to people even at a distance and so attached to schedules. I get sad and disheartened thinking about this particular semester’s end. I made a great friend, someone who has helped me open up and get through a particularly rough bunch of months. We confided in each other and found out that we had more in common than could ever be imagined. It is almost as she describes it, “we‘re separated at birth.” We helped each other with strenuous studying and overly long papers and ranted until we were blue in the face about life, classes and love. It’s these times I will miss and hope to have again next semester. Every time I get this feeling at the end of a semester, I remind myself to never wish for the end to come. And, unfortunately, every semester I forget to take my own advice. I have learned a lot about myself. I am a VERY impatient person at times, I can be too loud and too strange even to myself. However, it is because of all of this qualities that I am able to see the best in people and the best in myself. I also learned that I am very dependent on others to feel good about myself- not that I have low self-esteem. But it always helps to know that others think of the wacky stuff you’re thinking of. Meeting others, great people each year changes me. I become inspired again to continue to discover who I am and what I am capable of. The fact that me just being me is appreciated by people that in a random state end up becoming best friends shows me that I’m ok. I’m struggling, sometimes sad, sometimes overly happy and most of the time way too hyper. But I’m here. I’m alive and pushing onward with each day slipping past me. I’m meeting people that are changing my life and molding me back to my true form. My real identity that gets lost in the mix and rush of the speedy hours gone. I missed this feeling. Even though there is some sadness, I am happy to be feeling again, to be inspired again. It’s something that even the most solitary of souls needs to experience to understand themselves. So I want to give a crisp and clear thank you to everyone I know, whether we’ve always got on well or not. You’ve changed me and kept me going. I’d never be where I am without you. I’ll keep going on and getting through whatever it is this time with you on my mind, in my memories or hopefully even in person.

The picture was taken by Darren Treat  😀