Merely Human

This was inspired by a post written by Scrunch Foldington – There is No Hell Like an Old Hell

I stood before the shattered beginnings of a closing end.
Frowning down at my feet, tears sliding down rosy, heat flooded cheeks.

I knew I overdid it.

I knew the pain surging through my knuckles and wrist was ringing clear, so many mistakes and lies I’ve glazed over.

I saw a wretched creature in that mirror.

I coveted that monster’s demise, I desired the bitter end for her.

Tears of loved ones never crossed my mind, not even once. I was too enraged, too caught up in the heat. Nothing else could cross my mind.

My mind.

The detestable gnarled thorny, blood stained mess, my mind.

I picked up that glass fixture, smooth and cold in my hand and slammed it into the mirror.

Cursing all I was.

Miraculously the fixture only smashed, not the mirror, only grazing my hand.

I looked again into the mirror, that dogged, unbreakable mirror and saw myself.

I saw my frizzy hair and my red cheeks.

I saw my wide eyes, blood red and terrified, my hand covered in debris, the smashed moon and sun glass fixture.

Realization came over me and I was brought to weeping.

That creature I loathed was myself.

I saw myself and realized I was something deserving of love, even with my many mistakes.

Merely human.

8 responses to “Merely Human”

Woodsy

March 21, 2020 at 4:34 pm

This is why merely human is the most incredible place to be.

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1. BrittnyLee
  
  March 21, 2020 at 4:42 pm
  
  It can be and most definitely is.
  Dipping low and soaring high above our means, humanity, never ceasing to relent, victorious in our hopeful and daft approach.
  Tentative, sometimes.
  Ending up with the bigger slice of the cake, it’s an uneven playing field.
  Then, there’s love and mercy and kindness thrown in here and everywhere making it all worth the effort.
  Bearing toothy grins and hugging a crying stranger, we feel like we’re apart of a larger being.
  
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  1. Woodsy
    
    March 22, 2020 at 7:30 pm
    
    And finding the places we want to live in,
    not over any horizons
    but hiding in each other,
    waiting for the rain…
    
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rosejfairchild

March 22, 2020 at 2:53 pm

This gave me chills. Amazingly, powerfully written!

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1. BrittnyLee
  
  March 22, 2020 at 6:51 pm
  
  Thank you 🙂
  
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Scrunch Foldington

March 25, 2020 at 5:45 am

This is an epic and visceral piece of poetry Brittny, and to be honest I’m not sure you need to credit me with anything, because this is all your work. I’m pretty sure you showed me a draft version of this a while back, but this version is more developed and yet somehow more raw.
“My mind.

The detestable gnarled thorny, blood stained mess, my mind.”

Those lines grabbed me in particular, they could have been plucked from my internal monologue at my lowest points. You’ve captured something real here, great work! 🙂

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1. BrittnyLee
  
  March 25, 2020 at 10:32 pm
  
  Wow. Thank you so much Tom. I am so grateful and touched that you liked this. This did come from a raw place. I’ve had many low points on my journey. I’ve learne d so much and am still learning and growing. Thank you so much for inspiring me and helping me to let this go through writing. It was very cathartic writing this. It was something I’ve needed to write and face to let it go. 🙂
  
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The Eclectic Contrarian

August 25, 2020 at 12:28 am

You’re very well enough to be your own model. Wish I was picturesque enough lol!!

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