Filling this notebook backwards to front, I can’t express how this hurts. Singing along to silent lucidity, you rocking me to sleep. I was so tiny then. I still feel small, sometimes.

This is all too common and familiar. You’re worse than a ghost, you wretched memory, haunting what is left of me when you’re away. You’ve been more than a mother some days and something closer most days if at all possible.

I can’t save them.

I have tried. I have tried.

I was born into this stop motion movie, risen from fire and earth.

My own devices leading me towards beliving in the things I couldn’t have.

I’d envision them so strongly, they would be and the bitter nights, settled to the bottom at long last.

I could breathe.

This was never my battle just something I fell victim too along with you.

Yours were never mine to conquer.

2 responses to “My Own Devices”

  1. Woodsy Avatar
    Woodsy

    Your own devices are your words and your heart…
    and both of them reach out beyond themselves,
    even when it hurts,
    because that’s who you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      It’s who you are too my friend!!! My brother! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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