Beauty

I dont feel beautiful with every muscle twitch, every lie, every cry.
Every. Single. Die.

I don’t feel beautiful, as my clothes get tighter and my limbs become more sore with every step.

You can’t fathom what you can’t see in me.
I can’t save you.
I can’t even save me.
Sometimes this disease just decimates me.
I know, I know.
You don’t want to believe me.

I don’t feel beautiful when she’s wearing that dress.
Twenty years my senior, faster and full of energy, I’m wishing I could be.

I don’t feel beautiful, I feel ugly when I look in my mirror and see blotchy, red skin.
Irritated and dismayed, I pack on the makeup and start my day.

I don’t feel beautiful but I know there’s some part of me that still is, under this skin, under this weight, and under this crushing pain.

About* I wrote this piece in honor of any one who struggles with mental illness, diseases, weight issues, and anything that is causing someone to struggle. With everything that is going on, people are experiencing many emotions and situations that they’re not used to. Life is not easy, especially this year. Everyone has their own battles and experiences life through their own lens. Remember that before you judge someone. Be kind and be good to one another, please. 🙂 Thank you for reading and I hope you found solice in this piece. 🙂 God Bless friends!

8 responses to “Beauty”

Woodsy

October 2, 2020 at 2:49 pm

Who is he now?
Who will she ever really be?
The horizon laughs.
The stars draw back into deep space.
Life goes on.
The tide goes out.
The world’s most invisible mistake has finally played itself out.
The breeze turns everything to ice…
Yet still,
for all those hidden things she knows…
this one big hug
is all his heartbreak really needs.
She’s standing alone on the edge of the shore.
His breath feels polluted…
her lungs are clogged with distant cries…
and his treasure maps lie rotting on the foamy shingle.
The breeze turns colder.
The damp threads freeze against her skin.
The starless night stretches endlessly before him.
Vast empty sentences lean out across the galaxies –
and she sees them,
grabbing them by the fistful from the silence.
He feels the wound of real fingers
where a reassuring hand once gripped her shoulder.
His stomach starts to tingle.
A small, withered heart starts to weep,
the kind of tears you have to coax out…
the kind that hurt too damn much to come easy…
the kind you can hear from way out in space.
The stars open their eyes.
The explosions begin.

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1. BrittnyLee
  
  October 2, 2020 at 11:23 pm
  
  This is just wow.. John. I love this so much. Thank you !!!! I love everything you write my friend!!! “Vast empty sentences lean out across galaxies”- . I’m blown away by that line and all the rest. Awesome. 🙂
  
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  1. Woodsy
    
    October 3, 2020 at 12:36 am
    
    Your heart… your inspiration
    
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  2. BrittnyLee
    
    October 4, 2020 at 5:25 pm
    
    Yours too my friend!!! 🙂
    
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Scrunch Foldington

October 4, 2020 at 1:45 am

Great poem with a beautiful sentiment Brittny! You’re right on about that, lockdowns, quarantine, it’s all new to our generation there are plenty of people stuck in their own bubbles now. But heck, even before all this, I would relate to this piece “this disease just decimates me”. Too true.

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1. BrittnyLee
  
  October 4, 2020 at 6:18 pm
  
  Thank you 🙂 !!! Always appreciate your feedback. The time you take. Thank you !!!! Yes it’s a crazy time period to exist in !!!
  
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Monal Bahukhandi

October 7, 2020 at 10:52 am

Really like your content, keep inspiring us with your lovely poems thanks.

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1. BrittnyLee
  
  October 7, 2020 at 12:02 pm
  
  Thank you so much !!!!!! 🙂 I really appreciate this 🙂
  
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