Dawning Creations

Why do people keep secrets?
Why do we closet our most loving, intimate selves?
Why did I hide with the ranks?

I’ve never been enough.
“She has ADHD.”
“She knows no boundaries.”
“Good luck with her.”
” She’s a pathological liar.”
“She will end up in an institution.”

I have ADHD.
I’ve learned boundaries.
I am a helpful and loving daughter.
I don’t believe in lying.
I was NEVER institionalized.

I’ve scripted Disney movies, knowing every single word, singing with a clear tune.
I saw the world playing out like a movie does.
It was a constant whirlwind of ups and downs.
The plot was so twisted, you wouldn’t believe it to be reality for somebody.

There were high highs too.
The beauty pageants,
the love,the imagination, returning to mom and dad.
Listening to Mariah Carey on the counter top, singing and baking cookies,  getting my new puppy, Angel.

I felt and saw things I knew no one else experienced the same way.
I know it to be fact to this very day.
I’m unique and often eccentric.

I have my quirks.
I have my flaws.

These days, these flaws are making me relate to those children who are like I was, unrelatable, strange, over-affectionate, knowing no boundaries and “crazy.”

I blew apart not too long ago but formed a whole new creation from the carnage.
They know me.
These people see me.

I know I’m here with a purpose.

About the piece: I wrote this after thinking back to my childhood. I was working with a client and he happened to ask if I enjoyed Kindergarten.  I flashed back to my tiny self, unable to sit, crawling under tables, staring off into space, and constantly put in the hall to sit for doing Bugs Bunny impressions during class.

This boy is a lot like I was. It pains me to think he’ll struggle as I did before medication aided me as well as my mother and father using reward systems and such with me. It was a battle for them to help me succeed and a battle for my teachers. No one knew how crushed I felt when I let them down with my impulsivity, or when I was relentlessly teased for being in trouble or not being able to pay attention, getting behind. Needless to say, I am doing everything in my power to prep him for being in the school setting in hopes the experience can be enjoyable for him.

Does it ever occur to you that you may go through hardships to develop your skills? I believe this to be true