Not Giving Up

This is all new.

The only one I want to call is you.

You’ve been disconnected for as long as I could recall.

I conceived that I knew the truth about what you needed.

I’m following a doppelganger, a hideous ghost of you that continually stalks me, too.

Can you stand by?

You turkey with your mouth agape and eyes closed.

Can you stand by and ignore all that has been left unsaid?

The consecration, the destination, your blood oath.

Did any of it matter while you watched the hurt?

Did any of it matter when you were too afraid, too ashamed?

I haven’t given up.

I’m reminiscent of the brighter shades of gray, the silver strip of light peeking through the drowning rain.

It can’t be so simplistic to fathom, I know.

You want to split in my face.

You want to drag me into your dreadful mind space.

If I could, I’d gladly join and stick it through with you.

It isn’t over, despite your heartache.

It was never all for nothing, empty space inside of your heart.

You’re more whole than you feel.

Time and space don’t appear real, if only I could express how you want me to.

Can’t you find me in these distant blue eyes?

I’m trying to reach you with words that you would believe, understand.

I’m only human.

I can’t take the place of a real life savior.

Jesus Christ is all one needs to seek.

I’m only human.

You are too.

You feel too much just like me.

But it isn’t over, despite your heartache, your heartbreak.