Dawning Creations

I just feel alone
It never changes
I don’t belong here
Not at all
I’m broken

I’m a mix of blood and fire
Fizzled out by rain
That bastard cloud that just won’t go away

I’m just alone
I’m worried there’s no fix
that I won’t escape
I’m afraid that this is all there is

I’ll never leave
I’ll never escape this hell
no matter the work I put in
No matter the skill
no matter the green paper

My spirit is severed

I don’t see the point anymore
I don’t want to wake up
let the sun’s light slip past my door

Let the sleeping world take me
I want to be someplace better

A certain zenith is calling me
but I think I’ll never get there

My spirit is severed
I don’t think I’ve ever hurt so deeply

It’s a constant coiling knot
tightening closer and closer
until the pain becomes all of me

When it gets this bad
I wish I was dead
And then I feel guilty

Reaching out, let me down
“Others hurt too. You’re not the only one.”
I. Never. Said. I. Was.

People experience pain differently
I was only expressing it

There was no anger
I’m just not left disappointed and dismissed.
I trusted your words would’ve held peace.
I thought you would help me piece together the fragments and make sense of this mess.

You didn’t.
It won’t
I’m alone in my head

About the piece – This is not a cry for help piece. I am not suicidal or planning to hurt myself or anyone else. I wrote this piece coming from a depressed place in my life. Words and feelings need to be let out and not judged or misinterpreted. Do what you will but remember that your words can hurt others. Never tell someone they’re being selfish when they’re trying to talk about how they’re experiencing something. It’s their experience. You don’t know how they are feeling. You shouldn’t assume that they are being selfish or that they believe they’re the only person having a hard time. Nobody typically thinks that way. It’s been a rough few years with covid outbreaks and with losing people for most of us . Yes, everyone is having their own troubles but everyone is dealing with their battles their own way and have their own feelings about it. Be kind and be supportive . If you’re not sure how to be there for someone you care about, ask them. 🙂 I hope everyone has a blessed Christmas and can keep in mind the true meaning of this holiday coming. Enjoy everybody and thank you for supporting my site by stopping and reading. It means so much more than I can express. I’m trying to write more and post more but it’s been tough with working and dealing with some personal family things. I will try though. Have a great Christmas. Take care of each other