The In-between

I’m in between new neighbors
and rotten wood.
Between carpenter bees,
and dust that stings my eyes,
balls of freshly washed linen and prying passerbys.

I’ve never made
sense to anyone I’m afraid.
I’m afraid that’ll never change

I’m endlessly in between.
I’m in between my mind and me.
I’ve kept it all
so succinct.

I’m in between two stories
but wanting to write something new
I’m in between a weighted blanket,
window sills and my Billow.

I’m huddled in my nook,
living vicariously through a book.

I’m between two stories,
two chapters,
one old and one new.

They’re closing in on me swiftly.
I’m dusting, sweeping the skeletons to their graves.
I am keeping above ground
as they’re pulling me down.
I guess my mind is made.

I’m terrified of the dark
but don’t dare flirt with the daylight.
Alone, between four walls,
I write and I try

I try to stand tall
when I struggle to reach the top counter
I try to write something phenomenal
and pray it doesn’t sound like I’m complaining.

I try and I try
while I sit and write.
I’m stuck in between
four walls and with me.

8 responses to “The In-between”

Chaymaa

September 5, 2022 at 12:53 pm

Very deep and sad. 😔

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply
1. BrittnyLee
  
  September 6, 2022 at 1:07 am
  
  Thank you. It’s honest. For some people, this is the place they’re stuck in. The important thing is to know that being stuck doesn’t mean you’re stuck for eternity. I wrote this from a place I’ve been before. I get lost there sometimes but I find comfort in my faith and in knowing I’ll find my way out, again 🙂 Thank you for your comment, Chaymaa. I hope you’re having a good weekend and week
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
mitchteemley

September 6, 2022 at 10:36 pm

I think every writer who’s ever lived has spent time in that nook.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply
1. BrittnyLee
  
  September 7, 2022 at 12:02 am
  
  I think so, too. 🙂 Thank you, Mitch 🙂 much appreciated ☺️
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply
WanderingCanadians

September 8, 2022 at 11:51 am

This is such a beautiful and heartfelt poem. I love the reference to your Billow. I’m convinced that most people feel or have felt like an outsider, or an in-betweener, at some point in their life.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply
1. BrittnyLee
  
  September 13, 2022 at 11:49 am
  
  I think so, too. Life is an adventure for sure 😊. Thank you, Linda 💗
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply
johncoyote

September 19, 2022 at 12:57 am

I do understand dear poet. I must decide decide stay or run away? Life is difficult. What is right or wrong? I love your poetry.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply
1. BrittnyLee
  
  September 21, 2022 at 3:49 am
  
  Thank you, John !! I appreciate your kind words and open communication 😊🙂. Decisions are so tough, especially when we’re all so distracted with our careers and family and life in general. This piece flowed from my mind to paper faster than I could write it. I love when I’m inspired in that way. I don’t mind if it’s inspired in a sad or troubled way. I’m just grateful to be feeling and living through the emotional rollercoasters. Thanks so much, John. I hope you are well.
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply