Never Was Monochromatic

I worked on sheets
of black and white
tapping tables with color,
tasting rejection
resting in the belly of perfection

I worked against winds,
slept through sunny days,
abandoned my car in someone’s driveway,
and wished I’d get away.

I can’t hold this pressure,
can’t soak enough sun.
I’m nose diving upwards,
chasing the bullet from the gun.

Skies are churning.
Lights are dining
with lonely clouds,
being unforgettable.

Heart beats flutter
in another’s chest.
I can’t keep their rhythm.
Of that, I’m not blessed.

I’m a difficult construct,
discarding distractions and labels,
a different design,
a chaotic mind.

Sooner than later,
I don’t close my eyes.
I take in the light,
beholding a show in your eyes.

Sooner than later,
a lesson imprints
upon my heart.

Here and hoping,
I’m crossing my fingers.
I’m open and only
giving all that I’ve got left.

6 responses to “Never Was Monochromatic”

WanderingCanadians

February 8, 2023 at 11:24 am

I like this poem and its title. It all has a nice ring and beat to it.

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1. BrittnyLee
  
  February 15, 2023 at 4:39 pm
  
  Thank you ❤️ ☺️ I felt something writing this one. It was one of those experiences you get when you’re writing so fast you’re afraid you won’t get it all down. I love those experiences. 🙂 Thank you ❤️☺️ I hope you’re having a great week, Linda 💗
  
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  1. WanderingCanadians
    
    February 17, 2023 at 12:35 pm
    
    Glad you were able to capture all your thoughts down on paper before they slipped away. Hope you had a wonderful Valentine’s day. By the way, how did your interview go?
    
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  2. BrittnyLee
    
    February 22, 2023 at 12:39 pm
    
    Thank you 😌 ❤️ thoughts come and go do fast so I was grateful to get them out when I did. My interview went well 😃. I am starting onboarding today. I’m excited but also nervous. Starting at a new place is always super nerve-wracking for me. I like change but at a slow pace. I am extraordinarily blessed that I am able to go to a company that has majority of my coworkers from the current company there, supervisors and other behavior health techs. Also, I am lucky that I had a lot of time to absorb this change and had time to mentally prep. A lot of people don’t realize how hard every day events can be for some people. If I had going to a place with no one I knew, I would be a complete mess. I’m very grateful for you and my other friends on here. Huge hugs 🤗! Thank you, Linda 💗 How was your Valentine’s Day and weekend ?
    
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  3. WanderingCanadians
    
    February 23, 2023 at 11:27 am
    
    That’s awesome!! Congrats!! I know what you mean about feeling nervous when starting something or somewhere new. It’s kind of like being the new kid in class. It sounds like a great place to work though. My Valentine’s Day was pretty great. I went for a massage after work and my husband had dinner ready by the time I got home.
    
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  4. BrittnyLee
    
    February 26, 2023 at 4:25 pm
    
    Thank you !!! Training is going well so far 🙂 Everyone has been really friendly . I have another week and half of computer trainings and then I should be back to working with kiddos. I’m just hoping it goes well 😃 . Awwww dinner done and a massage . That sounds like a great valentines day. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it
    
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