Writing this, so it doesn’t linger.
Jesse I know, you’d applaud
my “clever” ways to cope.
I’m building hope
in a place where walls shift
and words quake with an unfamiliar tune.

I’m out of the shadows
out and living to the fullest.
I don’t want to dim my sunlight
while it’s shining within me so bright

Jesse, you said to just be me.
I wish I could put you in my pocket,
when my handwriting is too sloppy
and my words leave my mouth
before I could carry their weight.

I don’t forget.
I hear you scream aloud
use my mind that’s wiser,
even when this wave is too high
to behave.



The flood gates have emptied
and I’m rolling with the stones,
accepting there shall be
an inevitable low

But I listen,
I find my escape,
in deepest parts of misbehave
and misadventures,
still fearful, but I’ve paid my dues,
leaving my mark,
while I’m walking in the barren woods
leaving all that’s died in me
in some other graveyard.

8 responses to “Jesse Would Say”

  1. joannerambling Avatar
    joannerambling

    This was cool

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      Thank you. I had a therapist in this outpatient therapy group I attended named Jesse. He taught me so much coping skills and helped me help myself to be who I could be, again and better. I think back to things he’d say and that helps me on tough days. I am proud to admit that I got help. It needs to be normalized to get help.

      Like

  2.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I never feel like I’ve paid my dues.

    I think I’m just not a natural due-payer.

    Oe maybe I’m like ol’ Jack Burton, who when asked if he’s paid his dues, always says:

    “Yes sir, the cheque is in the mail.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Woodsy Avatar
      Woodsy

      that last comment was me, btw. Hadn’t signed in properly.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. BrittnyLee Avatar
        BrittnyLee

        I thought I sensed some John in there 😁😎

        Like

    2. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      This comment !!!!!!!! Love this !!! Thank you

      Dues, lost in a time knot
      dues are here and then they’re lost
      when you feel nothing,
      it’s easy to let them fly
      falling flat onto that
      pile of fuck that.

      Like

  3. WanderingCanadians Avatar
    WanderingCanadians

    Jesse sounds like a good influence. Love the line at the end “leaving all that’s died in me
    in some other graveyard”.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      Thank you. I struggled with that ending . I had a bunch of ideas but this one felt the most fitting. Jesse was one of my therapists in a group therapy I joined. He is a fantastic therapist and a great person overall. Thank you as always. Your comments are always so thoughtful !!!

      Like

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