Real life slams me back to the real world,
crashing me into a place I wasn’t ready for
when I’ve come from blissful reeling.
Do I want it to come back?
The illusion was better than
what I actually see.
Dear God please help me.

What’s real
or better to believe ?
I miss it, the total mind
entrapment
of the cross between
plain and insane.



The songs are romantic in nature,
the sky sunny and bright,
the day being warm,
body, no aches,
heart, kept, safe

AN ILLUSION

When it’s all happening,
I’M ALONE IN IT ALL.

When it’s happening,
I’m seeing stars.
I’m headed too far, far away.

I’m somehow convinced that
there is something bound between
them and me
more than limerance,
more than playing pretend.

Somehow, I’m convinced
every look, every sigh,
every smile and laugh
doesn’t mean as much to them
as it does me.
I care too much,
attach too quickly and believe
they’re right there, attaching with me.

I’m wrong most of the time
and the pain rains down on me
like the bitter cold
plunge of your foot
in a winter puddle.

The drop is quick,
quicker than the changing of seasons,
quicker than direction of the wind,
quicker than I could fall
and make my way to someplace safe.

6 responses to “Reality Testing”

  1. joannerambling Avatar
    joannerambling

    This could have been written about me

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      I love that. It makes me happy that it reached you and resonated with you. I love connecting with you guys on here. It means so much to have relationships with people who get it.

      Like

  2. WanderingCanadians Avatar
    WanderingCanadians

    I love the meaning and raw emotions. “Plain and insane”. You phrased it all so well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      Thank you !!!!! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Woodsy Avatar
    Woodsy

    Being “wrong most of the time”…

    There are times when I want to carve out a place for my own wrongness, because there are some types of “rightness” that I simply don’t want anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      Exactly. There’s a common group agreement about how we should feel and evoke those feelings and it’s really sad how afraid we are to feel

      Liked by 1 person

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