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I’m anxious over nothing at all
Did I say too much while hugging someone I don’t completely know?
It helped for a short time being .
The voice in my head
tells me I’d be better off dead,
when I’m experiencing this amount of dread.
Wrap it up.
Tuck it away.
Smile and joke.
Keep it flowing,
but not too much
Never too much !
I’m being too much !
Yes. Been in this place… or… y’know… a place like it.
Said too much while hugging someone I don’t really know… or feeling like I have hugged them… kinda metaphorically… caught them off guard…
and left a door open that nobody seems happy about.
But hey… We’ve chatted our way through these crazy between places for years: Trust your doors, ok?
Trusting my way,
I can only do sometimes
There are certain times that seem real
but I don’t always know.
They could be phony
or I could be reading into their words, mannerisms.
I attach deep,
drowning myself when I don’t have to.
I will not disappear if they don’t like me.
We have gotten through so much crazy in between moments. I trust you and all you have to say, trusting me in our world. The rest of the world I shouldn’t care so much but I do, sometimes. It all depends on my state of mind and my general “read” of a room/state of others. I overthink things and get lost in it.
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It’s rough but we get through it learning to not try so much what others we meet think. It’s mrle about trust in them and trusting myself to know who is a genuine person. They say your gut tells you and I have a good idea of who is safe and who isn’t in a certain space. I just need to trust that I can figure out and to remember at the end of the day, I’m still here, being myself. It took years to unmask myself. It feels great but it’s also terrifying equally at times
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