Heart

It’s my heart, holding onto this tender flower.
The thorns dig deep and penetrate all that is too painful to retrieve.

It’s my heart and my hurt.
Don’t you dare try to tell me how to feel.

I exist in your world, in your institution.

That’s enough.

The thorns dig deep and I want them too.

I need to know I’m capable.

I need to know I’m real.

It’s my heart, holding onto this tender flower, watching the withering take place.

I want to cry with her, want to keep her alive but I can’t.

Don’t you dare try to tell me how to feel.

I’ve just about had enough.

Life is everything, in the moment.

I’m coming to terms on my time and helping to hold a withering creature while she passes.

I’m in the moment, taking in this pain.

Don’t you try to tell me how to deal.

I’m dealing while you’re just denying everything.

This painting was done by my fiance Matthew Hetro. He is an incredible artist.

10 responses to “Heart”

Woodsy

May 15, 2020 at 3:20 pm

I recognize this –

this place,
this thing I want, need to feel…

this voice, trying to airbrush it away.

And I love how free and colourful Matt’s artwork is.

LikeLiked by 2 people

Reply
1. BrittnyLee
  
  May 15, 2020 at 7:23 pm
  
  He’s an incredible artist though he doesn’t think so haha. Isn’t it always that way though, honestly? Your artwork reminds me a lot of his you guys have a lot of the same type of usage of bright colors and beautiful styles. I don’t even know how to describe it.
  
  You want your heart to beat like it did when you first fell in love with the feeling.
  You want it to beat, beat hard and fast.
  Swallow that lump in your throat and buckle up for a speedy recovery.
  Open up and shout your cares away out the open window on the freeway.
  Open up and scream into the wind.
  It’s ok if they hear you.
  I’m screaming, too.
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply
zarablog

May 15, 2020 at 3:29 pm

Awesome, please visit zarablog at
https://zarablog654904240.wordpress.com/2020/05/15/clothes-life-hack/ and check this out
And follow please

LikeLiked by 2 people

Reply
1. BrittnyLee
  
  May 15, 2020 at 7:25 pm
  
  I absolutely will thank you for checking my blog out 🙂
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply
Jaya Avendel

May 15, 2020 at 9:14 pm

“It’s my heart, holding onto this tender flower.
The thorns dig deep and penetrate all that is too painful to retrieve.”

There is so much truth in those poignant opening lines! I have felt grief that is hard to retrieve but, like you say so beautifully, it is better to deal with grief then deny its existence. 🙂

LikeLiked by 2 people

Reply
1. BrittnyLee
  
  May 15, 2020 at 9:22 pm
  
  Absolutely. I actually wrote this post about my mom’s friend who passed suddelny a few months ago. Her passing took us completely by surprise in the worst of ways. She and my mom were really close. I tried to write it as if I were my mom grieving. I wanted to make a powerful statement that every life matters. My mom’s friend was poor and had mental health problems, a lot of them. She was the kindest person I had ever met and was so supportive of my mom with her mental health troubles. Thank you so much for commenting. This means so much to me. So much of my heart went into this one .
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
  
  Reply
  1. Jaya Avendel
    
    May 16, 2020 at 8:19 pm
    
    Thank you for sharing the story behind this piece! I think you transferred well your heart into writing. 🙂
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  2. BrittnyLee
    
    May 16, 2020 at 9:03 pm
    
    Thank you aw . I really appreciate that 🙂
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
BillboardVagabond

May 16, 2020 at 11:33 pm

The drawing by your fiance was NICE. Much appreciated and thanks for sharing

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply
1. BrittnyLee
  
  May 17, 2020 at 12:42 am
  
  Aw thank you !! I will tell him you said that. He doesn’t know how talented he is 🙂 thank you so much for stopping by and commenting !!!! 🙂
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply