You meant it this time,
just like all of the other times before.
It’ll never change will it?
I’ll be the last to know, the last to love, the  last one.

I push and pull you.
Your wrists are bruised.
I’m constantly tugging and grabbing and touching.
I want you so badly.
You just don’t know.

You didn’t break any promises.
I should have never expected so much.
I’m guilty after shouting at your form, and wanting you to hug me even though I’ve left you torn.

I’m clinging onto you like those stubborn vines,
dodging removal off that concrete wall.
Maybe I’m too clingy too.
Maybe I’m too much for you.
I am too much for me, too.

Sometimes.

You meant it this time.
I wouldn’t be the last to know, the last you’d call, the last you’d love.
You couldn’t really mean it.
I’m still waiting for you to love me.

I’m uncomfortably ambivalent,
you were heaven sent and I still couldn’t be enough though I try.
I’m the genuine thing, though I cling.

I still miss what we could’ve had.
I miss the dreams I believed could come to life when things got tough.
I let myself down again.

I’m just uncomfortably borderline.

7 responses to “Borderline”

  1. The Eclectic Contrarian Avatar
    The Eclectic Contrarian

    Stranded emotions…

    Were you in a pool? Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      I was !!!!! We were putting our pool up at midnight and I decided why not do a silly photoshoot in the pool ?? I ended up liking this picture so I decided to keep it for this piece haha. πŸ™‚ I know it’s random as all holy heck.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The Eclectic Contrarian Avatar
        The Eclectic Contrarian

        Random, weirdness, silliness are all a side effect of awesomeness!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. BrittnyLee Avatar
        BrittnyLee

        Haha they absolutely can be !!!! Haha thanks !!!! How’s your week?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. The Eclectic Contrarian Avatar
        The Eclectic Contrarian

        It’s been good! Can’t complain.. holding back because I still feel talkative and annoying as all get out.

        How are you? Any more interesting writing and picture making in progress?

        Like

  2. Woodsy Avatar
    Woodsy

    I still wait here
    in the sad place…
    the hole I dug through being with me,
    being with you.
    Funny…
    I thought being with you would dig me free.
    So
    who pulled too hard on whom?

    Maybe trying to crawl out is always gonna mean letting you go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      No one dug me down yet. I’m still clinging on. I wrote this at the start of the covid pandemic. I wrote this from the perspective of myself and many others in one voice. We’re all waiting still for this to come to a close πŸ™‚ thank you John. Beautiful comment ! You’re one of the friends that kept me and many others sane during this ordeal !

      Liked by 1 person

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