I dont want to talk right now
I just want to be

You can’t help but drag me out
when really all I want is sleep

I’m not the same everyday,
I wear a different face
Sometimes, I even will
to carry another name.

It’s not the same
as it is for you.
You’re constant in your
unbalancing, emotional tricking or treating.

I wasn’t the same.
I wore a different face.
For a while,
with every day that passed,
I seldom knew my place.
It’s not all bad.
I collected a higher perspective,
branched out and showed respect
and admitted that I’ve relented.

I don’t resent you.
But, I don’t comprehend you.
Sometimes, I want you near.
Other times, you’re too much, here.
It’s all the same,
in your lack of showing shame.
Brazen in your disregard,
for my skyward aim.
You’re always the same.
You’re lacking in any shame,
as you insideously sneak in.
You try to bind me in your slimey chain,
pressing all the buttons in my brain,
driving live wires to burst in flames.

I have knowledge on my side.
All you own are mismatched chemicals,
firing at random,
imbalacing my equilibrium,
seeking to halt the flow of my system,
harboring unnecessary guilt
in my artistic chasm.
You’re a tidal wave rising and receeding.
But, I won’t let you conquer.
My ship is settled in your
rippling harbor.
I’ll hold you close enough to see you,
and far enough to keep you
from decimating all of me,
all of my hard earned values and beliefs.
You won’t take from me,
all the experiences of becoming
what WE made ME.

4 responses to “Episodes”

  1. Woodsy Avatar
    Woodsy

    I have a few things that cling to me, grab a free ride on my body and try to tell me who I am, what I am, what my limits are, where the cracks are and how they will shatter me…
    Things that have grown in difficult, dark times and that refuse to let go when there is more mileage in pulling me down… more bad stuff nagging at my spirit.
    Sometimes it feels like all you can do is turn round and tell them no. Even if you can’t guarantee you can make them go away, you can tell them this is not you.
    This is a thing piggybacking on your life, but it is not you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      You’ve nailed it ! Your comments are always heartfelt and sincere. I value you so much! Thank you πŸ˜€ . I know you’ve felt the magnifying glass chasing you for some time, too. We are more, always will be!

      Like

  2. WanderingCanadians Avatar
    WanderingCanadians

    No matter how old we get we’re always battling some inner demon or dealing with some sort of baggage. The key is to not let it consume us and bring us down. And to not let it define who we are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BrittnyLee Avatar
      BrittnyLee

      Yes ! 100% nailed it

      Liked by 1 person

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